I've been doing youtube for 10 years. Throughout the years I've asked myself: "Why bother to keep making youtube videos? No one cares, you have in reality 50 die hard fans." No matter how many times I've put down that YouTube mic, I always pick it back up. It's become who I am, and without it I don't know what to do with myself. Recently I decided, you know what? I'm going to delete my channel, that way I CAN'T post anything anymore. So I posted an announcement video and received overwhelming support to keep going and keep trying. SO I gave myself a date, a goal to meet by that date and if I fail maybe then it'll be time to find out who I am when I awake from a dreamer's sleep.
In short, I've been doing it for so long, it's become who I am.