Could you help me out please!

[TaiFighter]

it what be awesome if some of you come and checked out my YouTube channel and some of my videos! If you leave a comment saying what you think about the video I might go back and check on your channel!
-thanks,
TaiFighter[DOUBLEPOST=1468155390,1468155344][/DOUBLEPOST]Video link:

 

[GrgakGames]

Hey man what do you actually want to be critiqued on? This is not for promotion but to help you see some flaws with what you are making