MZ-101
I've Got It
I'M HAPPY AND CONFUSED...
So... A while back I've reached a hundred subscribers which was probably the most amazing thing that happened to me while perusing this... Over-glorified hobby. When reaching this milestone I felt as if... As if I was on an unstoppable momentum ride and I was going to reach my ultimate milestone which was 1000 Subscribers in a spark of light! That wasn't the case...
It's been almost 8 months now and I still haven't gotten anywhere near that number. I feel useless... As if I was a nobody throwing a stone to an ocean filled with people that because, of so many others like me throwing similar if not larger stones. The people in this figurative ocean are barely noticing my stone when it hits them and my stone isn't big enough nor my throw is strong enough to cause any ripple for people to notice.
Basically, there are way too many people doing what I am doing that I barely matter. I don't in fact. No matter how controversial, or well put together my video is. It gets over shadowed by people doing the same thing I'm doing. I never understood my problem. Whether it was my personality, my videos or just plainly my channel that drove people away. I guess I'm just not that lucky. I'm not making a pity post where people would consider me because, they feel sad...! But, after more than 2 YEARS of making videos (which I'll admit have been gradually getting better) I'm starting to lose that my motivation, I've always kept strong and pushed my self to put up another video. Telling my self that "this one is the one. Its well edited, contains great commentary and its an amazing topic". Then, I see just 20 views in 2 days... I think to my self "there is probably something wrong with it. I'll try to fix it in the next video" but, after 2 years I can't find anything wrong! Not the video quality. not the editing, not the commentary, not the topic I'm choosing or the gameplay I put in the background. Nothing! So, I sit here... Happy and confused. I can't really show you any video as that violates the conditions but, maybe you can point out what I'm doing wrong...