FoldingNotes

Loving YTtalk
Over the past few months, my channel growth was virtually stagnant. After a year of so many purges and having fallen from a record of 954 subscribers, it became a huge regret for me. Some of you might say: "Why did you do this?! That's something to be proud of?!" It really was. I destroyed too much of my work. All the vlogs of "I give you a hamburger", "Mary the Googly Ball" (Geez 4000 views) "what it means to be a sad potato" "The interviews" and "Through the Mists" have all been destroyed by me. Until recently I deleted another video called "I am the Illuminati Confirmed."

Now here I was hitting rock bottom. That was when I started to turn to the worst thing every YouTube possibly hates: Spamming.

Yes. I'm being brutally honest here. I begged in the streets of YouTube. I have fallen from paradise in the beginning. There was no other option other than wait, and I couldn't afford the lost time. Some of you may be saying: "Of course you shouldn't." I can only pray for my disease of unforgiven attitude to end, but I cannot prevent the effects which are happening now.

And where are the rest of my old subscribers? They're gone, and a few are lost: "Where is he? Where is Harry the Googly Ball?" Some may see my profile picture, but they may not realize I am the True Harry who raked in the likes on the comments section. Now a few may view me as some impersonator. I am not the impersonator.

"Do what you love! Don't spam!" That is true to an extent, but I owe my old subscribers a huge debt to be repaid due to the purges. I don't have much credibility anymore unless I prove myself with a huge number: I am not an impersonator. I no longer can recover my mp4s, and a bunch of images are sitting in my cloud drive like crazy. I'm slowly releasing them onto Flickr and Deviantart, and the process is slow.

What else am I supposed to do? I had no other choice but to beg. That was when my number jumped up. It was a gamble with a few consequences.

I am sorry I broke the code. Some of you will say "Well it's your fault." It is my fault. My entire fault. It's a brutal mental illness gone undiagnosed I'm afraid: "I'm feeling even worthless right now if I don't do anything to compensate for the lost time." Now everything is a dearth, and I can't tell how painful it is seeing my work go to waste. It is my fault. I am sorry. Pardon me and forgive me for what I have been doing over the course of a year. It's really not the number of subscribers I am concerned about, but how much damage I have inflicted: Leaving everyone behind and destroying everything I had created. It's a debt that may not even get paid and an illness that may not get cured. It's no use giving up when your reputation already hits rock bottom.
 
Why do you keep wiping your channel?

1: "Harry the Googly Ball" was a stupid name, but a few people wouldn't want me to leave. Nonetheless I kept purging.
2. "Low Quality videos" even when they weren't low quality.[DOUBLEPOST=1445204364,1445203300][/DOUBLEPOST]
Learn from your experiences and start a fresh new chapter. You can do it!

In that case, I'm going to abolish myself and restart from ground zero. Everything.
 
Persistence, patience, and love for the work. It's necessay to move forward in these times, but also a great adventure lies ahead :)
 
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