Your writing style just got really weird...
It's not the jealousy it's the begrudging. You can say "I want this and that" without adding "so XYZ can't have it"...
Some of the folks I know, and would consider on the same level of skill in many ways, made it pretty far, and the difference was the luck-factor, but that doesn't mean it's undeserved and I am very happy for them. I was almost moved to tears when the author of my first short film told me about his book deal and I didn't even know back then that it was going to become a number 1 bestseller for many weeks and would be in the top 20 for about a year. I walked to the nearest bookstore once a week for that whole year to check the positioning of the book. (Yes, I could have checked that online, but that would've been way less romantic...)
Okay, enough story time, back to work...