Is My Commentary "Awkward"?

[CubizFIFA]

I have been trying to improve commentary to flow better and have less awkward pauses.
I would love to get feedback on the commentary in this video,

And if you have time, maybe compare it to this old commentary, and see if I have improved?

Thank you

 

[RayonIsRayon]

I think your good bud. Just relax and let your words flow. Keep pushing on.
The best of luck to you and your channel