-These videos should be fun to make, not just fun to make subscribers off of. Don't be upset if "no one" watches them. That's how we all start. I've only gone from 3 views a video to 30 views, and I've made videos for 9 months.
-Tried to watch your latest PokeMMO episode. It was absolutely horrendous.
I couldn't hear or understand you at all. And you didn't edit out your realllly bad coughing. There's no point in watching a commentary, if you can't hear the commentary.
-When I could hear the commentary, which was rare, all you were doing was stating what you were doing. Don't say you're fighting a pidgey when the audience can obviously see you fighting the pidgey.
-Did you add that music in yourself? It's distracting and loud either way.
The one thing you did well is recording the game's visuals properly.
Don't fret, as my signature says, you'll get better.