Script criticism (Game review/impressions video)

Jate

I've Got It
So this is for a review/impressions video I want to make about the overwatch beta, any criticism or suggestion is welcomed with open arms! :D

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*Start with fun play of the game clip*


*transition into start of match gameplay*


Starting last thursday whenever I was at home I was on my computer, and I was playing the Open Beta for overwatch. Trying out all the characters, playing with my friends, and messing with tons of team combinations. But how was it?


*Short intro*

*back to match footage*


So the overwatch beta was released may 5th and ended may 9th. And it was a blast. Today I am going to tell you the 3 key reasons why I love Overwatch


  1. Characters and diversity
With 21 heroes that all have a very unique feel and playstyle odds are you will be able to find someone to fit how you want to play.

There are precise characters with high skill caps that you can show off your aim and skill with like the very fast and deadly Tracer, or a sniper like Widowmaker, or Hanzo.

There are also characters that are easy to play but hard to master, like McCree, torbjorn, Roadhog or lucio.

Then there are characters that allow you to just support your team and honestly can be very easy to play, like Reinhart with his giant shield and hammer, or maybe even the healer mercy.

My point in all of this is odds are there is a character or two for you, regardless of how you play or what you want to do in the game.


2. Teamwork

Another reason I love this game is it’s not just another call of duty. There is no team deathmatch. Success in this game is not due to a single player. Your stats don’t really matter that much, kills especially. A good healer can have 0 kills and still be voted player of the game after the match. That’s because this game is not a game you can run off on your own and be successful in. You have to focus on the objective at all times and try to stick with your team. Because there is a serious strength in numbers, and strength in strategy in this game. This is what makes Overwatch so much fun to play with friends or at very least with other talking players. Sticking together, and talking can go a long way. A less skilled team that works together can often beat a team with 6 good skilled players who just want to go off and do their own thing.


3. Customization

Since most of the basics have been covered I am going to talk about something a little less important but still awesome none the less. During this beta there were a total of 167 skins available for 21 characters. About 8 for each one. For each there were 4 basic recolored skins, then 2 more really cool recolored or slightly different skins, and then 2 legendary skins that were usually epic overhauls of a character's base model. Some of my favorites where Winston’s explorer costume *vid of skin* Zenyatta’s Ra skins *vid* & the steampunk bastion *vid*. Along with all of these each character had sound clips, emotes, victory poses, and play of the game animations that could be unlocked via loot crates or bought with in game currency. There are also sprays, which were stencils or stickers that got “spray painted” on the wall when T is pressed. With at least 10 character specific sprays available this is a fun addition. Although the game is so fast paced the only time people really use them is before a game starts. All of these are optional and don’t add to the gameplay really but help give you extra things to work towards, and be proud of.


So there you have it, there are some of my impressions and some insight on the overwatch beta! Personally I am pre ordering the game now because of this beta and I would give it a very solid 8.5/10. I would recommend the game to anyone who enjoys FPS’s, strategy games, and teamwork. I would also reccomend it if you have a strong group of friends to game with, because the game is so much fun with friends. That’s all for this video guys, if you liked the video make sure to give it a like, if you have anything you want to tell me put it in the comment section in the video and if you want to see more content like this in the future make sure to hit that subscribe button. Cya guys have a great day!
 
It seems a bit robotic honestly.

What I do that has helped out a lot is pretend i'm talking to someone for like 20 minutes about the topic at hand, that helps me get my script not feel like an essay and more just me talking.

BIG heads up, but this might be just a preference. I section out everything so much and I space everything so that when I start doing the recording I don't mess up as much.

So like here is the script i'm working on for the MegaDuck.

________________________
__

Intro
__

The Mega Duck or otherwise known as Cougar Boy was a Handheld game console made in 1993.
It tried to be a rival to the Nintendo Game Boy but failed in every aspect.

Besides the name.

I think Mega Duck is a- is a kick a** name.

One of the biggest noticable things about the MegaDuck is how similar it looks to a gameboy.
Even to the point that if this was shows to someone not knowing what it was, they would probably think it was the console made by nintendo.

I wonder if that was what the people at Welback Holdings wanted, to try and get some of the revenue from one of the biggest companies in the world.

Either way this was a huge flop with only making 31 games if you count the games on the multicarts that is.

I like to consider the Mega Duck kind of like the handheld your brothers best friends cousins little sisters best friends older brother had where you have vaugley heard of the name.

but just like with my last video on the virtual

(whispers)

Which if you havent seen it please go see it i'm so lonely and shameless

i'm gonna look at every game on the system.
and trust me

theres nothing good on it.

To capture this footage I am having to use an emulator which first off I can't believe this even has an emulator but it's not all the way finished.

So two games in particular do not work and also some games seem to not show everything. But i'll get to those when the time comes.

heh I hope this isn't another long video.

ugh

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1. The first game on the Mega Duck is called 2nd Space, you control a little car and must fill up the screen while dodging enemies.
The little squares you see are actually part of a hidden image and when you surround a portion of the squares you can see a small bit of the final picture.
The only way to defeat enemies is if you get them in your uncovering portion of an image.
Other than that you are defenseless.

The enemies are way to sparatic and I don't know how they did it but the controls are horrible.
You have to be pretty precise going around the corners as there is no room for error.

The images are nice and oh okay what the f**k is that.
__________________________


2.Ant Soldiers starts us off with a cute little intro that shows the normal ant behavoir like

asking for help
being a good sumaritan

and wathcing one of your friends drown without even thinking about helping them.

It's obviously a lemmings clone but part of the game cannot be shown.

This is the first time the emulator messes up and it's usually on games that has a gird of sort for the bottom.

so with that I couldn't really figure out what to do besides kill everyone. BUT it's lemmings, so I guess i'm not missing out on much?
_____________________________

3. So for every title on the Mega Duck I probably had the most fun with Arctic Zone.
You control a bear that throws blocks of ice to fill up other bigger chunks of ice?

and it must be perfectly filled, if you f**k up and get one block more than you should
then you must fill up the corresponding areas.

The games pretty easy with the only challenge AGAIN being that the controls are garbage.

Don't get me wrong Arctic Zone is still s**t but compared to most of the games on the Mega Duck this one is in the top 3
___________________________

4. So for me personally Armour force is the worst f*****g game on the Mega Duck.

It's so slow
and that's the biggest issue for me.

With any type of space shooter it needs to be either super fast paced or just the right pace to keep you entertained.

You know how long it took me to get to the first boss?

4 minutes.

Which doesn't seem like a long time respectively but with how slow everything is that felt like forever.

and even when you get to the first boss it's too huge.

The biggest kick in the d**k is that when you die once it's back to the beggining.

No thanks.

This had potential but it's just so slow and so s**t.

__________________________
5. Beast Fighter was the game I was most interested in on the mega duck.

Anything that involves Kaiju is cool in my book.

and of course the emulator has issues with the game. It's still playable though, you just can't see the bottom of the screen again.

Woah wait we have another intro here?
Awesome that shows that there was effort put into this. At least that's what i'm hoping.

Oh damn and a character select screen? Sign me up.

Well.

What was I expecting I guess.

Picture godzilla on the nes but with REALLY floaty controls and delayed moves.

At the end of a stage you do go up against one of the kaiju although without the bottom of the screen you can't really tell what's going on.

Either way compared to most games on the handheld this is one of the better ones.

Oh god this is one of the better ones.
________________________

6. So according to GiantBomb Black Forest Tale on the MegaDuck is a port of Little Red Hood on the NES.

Well I mean sure why not.

I don't even f*****g care anymore.

At least this one has a cute little baka girl sitting for the intro.

You have three difficulties which the girl lets us know which one she wants the most.

*clip of oh yeah or something figure it out Grgak*

I AM STARTING TO FEEL KIND OF UNCOMFORTABLE.

So first off this is leagues above Little Red Hood when it comes to the control and objectives.

You just make people turn to boulders and throw them against something.

When they crumble into nothing you get some money.

Okay that sounds more ****** up than I thought.

after you collect enough to buy the key that unlockes the levels door you win!

That's the game.

It's slow, f*****g everything looks like s**t, I dunno.

For MegaDuck standards it's alright.

but oh my god.

These are all so bad

____________________

7. I remember, late one night back when I was a child I got out of bed
kneeled infront of my window, and with one faith filled tear rolling down my face.
I say
"Please, jesus, make me a Dr. Mario clone on the MegaDuck everyone wants a Dr. Mario clone on the MegaDuck thank you god bless america"

I woke up that morning to see a brand new copy of Bomb Disposer

I grabed the game

happy as can be

and f*****g tied a noose ready to end my life.

My parents came in begging me not to do it but I will

I'LL f*****g DO IT MOM DON'T MAKE ME f*****g DO IT MOM

___________________________________

the spacing at parts and sectioning off things really helps me out.
 
Shorten the intro to the video. Try to keep the intro to about a sentence. Just enough to intrigue viewers.

Maybe give a quick description of the 21 heroes. You say that you can be a sniper, support, healer and that there are heroes that are hard to play as. About a sentence or even half of a sentence. Like you were talking to a friend and they said, "WidowMaker? What's that character like?", and you have one sentence to explain the mechanics of playing WidowMaker.

The issue with hero descriptions is people hate lists and HATE bullet point lists, but someone, like me, who has no prior info of the game other than watching demos and only know Tracer's name because of SJW's needs a bit more information. When you are reviewing a game, expect the viewer to know NOTHING. Most people who are going to watch a review don't really know anything, that is why they are reading/watching a review.

Personally, I'd frame the video more like:

"*Start with fun play of the game clip*

Starting last thursday whenever I was at home I was on my computer, and I was playing the Open Beta for overwatch. Trying out all the characters, playing with my friends, and messing with tons of team combinations. But how was it?

*Short intro*

*transition into start of match gameplay*

So the overwatch beta was released...."


Another suggestion would be to read the script backwards, out loud. Start with the last paragraph and work your way to the intro. This will help you hear mistakes or issues or hear if you are repeating yourself or droning on. This will also help with formatting your script/video.
 
Thanks guys, both really good tips im going to try out, I'll post back here with an updated version soon!
 
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