Hitting a huge brick wall

Alex.michael94

Alex.michael94

Loving YTtalk
So I'm stupidly happy that I've hit 50 subs, but now my depression has kicked in badly again and is putting up a huge wall for me to try and get past to be happy and all I can currently think is "Holy crap, even I'd punch myself in the face" when I watch my videos. I really need to get out of this state of hating myself and the things I do on YouTube because when I'm happy I think what I do is good, the moment I'm hit by being alone or having someone hate on me I get depressed again and start hating everything I do ><
 
Well I enjoy your stuff.. so keep going man.. You got nothing to feel bad about.. and you got 50 other people subbing to you, so that tells you there are folks out there liking what you do.
 
JohnKenShow said:
Well I enjoy your stuff.. so keep going man.. You got nothing to feel bad about.. and you got 50 other people subbing to you, so that tells you there are folks out there liking what you do.
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Thank you, I know my content isn't always the greatest but it's not a reason to put myself down. I just suffer from a stupid amount of depression and I guess using the internet at the same time as feeling really down isn't the best idea because I start thinking lots of stupid things.
 
I suffer from depression as well, so I know how you feel... You just gotta get your mind away from all the negatives and focus on the positives ;) I know that it isn't easy, but try to think about it this way: "50 people people actually think that what I'm doing is so awesome, that they want to follow whatever I make on my channel" ;) You're doing an awesome job, man ;) Never forget that ;)
 
Don't judge yourself so harshly! I know it's very hard with depression and all, but instead of checking the negative things in the videos, try focusing more on the positive. Those things you don't like take them as something you can improve. I recommend this video to anybody, look for "day[9] daily #100", it's mostly starcraft related, but he talks about everything, frustration, how to improve yourself, what's the correct mindset etc etc, it seems to be aplicable to anything in my opinion.
 
I try not to rewatch mystuff cause I know that I will over judge it and find everything wrong with it.. So maybe just post your stuff and reply to comments do go watching your stuff again.. we are always our worst critics.
 
Alex.michael94 said:
So I'm stupidly happy that I've hit 50 subs, but now my depression has kicked in badly again and is putting up a huge wall for me to try and get past to be happy and all I can currently think is "Holy crap, even I'd punch myself in the face" when I watch my videos. I really need to get out of this state of hating myself and the things I do on YouTube because when I'm happy I think what I do is good, the moment I'm hit by being alone or having someone hate on me I get depressed again and start hating everything I do ><
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Dude. You got 50 subs. Take solace in the fact that THEY like your videos.
 
In YouTube many things will discourage you. You've just got to try and push through it and keep getting yourself out there. The fact you've got 50 subs means you're well received so you're halfway there.
 
I just broke 1,800 subscribers, and almost none of them watch me regularly. The key thing to know about YouTube is that for the most part, nobody really gives a s**t! Don't stress out too much, you'll be fine. I get what's wrong with your depression, that can be really rough to deal with. Just don't let it take over your YouTube life though, just try your best and let whatever comes of it occur!
 
Thanks guys for all the tips and just being decent.
I love my channel, I gathered my subs wont really care that much and I know not many people will really watch my videos (not for a while anyway) and I'm not fussed by that :) I'm still getting subs and views, I just hate suffering depression because it just puts up a wall which makes me argue with myself and tries to get me to stop, which I know I wont I just hate on myself too hard. But thank you.
 
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