Sorry for the wall of text. This is lifted from a Tumblr post I wrote:
Anyone who knows me offline knows that I’ve had a bit of a rough year as far as work’s concerned.
Last June I packed up, gave up my apartment on the east coast and officially moved to Toronto. I had big hopes of breaking into the acting scene here in any small way I could. A year of sending packages to agents over and over again to no avail, submitting myself for anything and everything and getting, oh, 3 auditions out of it - in an entire YEAR - plus a stint in a film class that made me (for the first time ever) want to
quit this crazy business…it hasn’t been easy.
Combine that with living with someone who is relatively successful in his own branch of the entertainment industry - who frequently works with other beautiful, talented people - and you have a recipe for extreme self pity and loathing. I was not in a good head space. In the past year the only really creative thing I’d done was write a few drafts of a novel - no small feat, of course, but it didn’t give me the same satisfaction as expressing myself off the page. And my “detrimental to the career” part time job as a photo double/stand-in on film sets really wasn’t helping me feel worthwhile at all.
Rewind!!
Back in July of 2007, I started vlogging on Youtube and seriously enjoyed it.
Of course, looking back, I didn’t really know what I was doing - I would just sit in front of my clunky, pixel-y Logitech webcam and talk. There was no editing, the lighting was bad and I was pretty awkward. But I did it. It was a fun outlet, and I really liked the whole community aspect of Youtube.
Into 2008 I posted less frequently, and it eventually slowed to one or two videos a year.
Then, in 2011, I did a production of West Side Story, and decided to vlog my way through the experience. I vlogged almost every day during rehearsals up to opening night, and then occasionally during the run. Admittedly, my main motivation to do this was to keep a certain guy back in Toronto updated on what I was going through.
But it was a great experience, and I had a blast doing it.
Fast forward!!
So, in the middle of my despair and frustration over my stalled career, I thought, “Why not go back to doing something you enjoy? Just for fun.” I’d been itching to put a new video on Youtube, but I didn’t want to just vlog about myself.
During a heated conversation about snacks one afternoon, I found myself in the middle of a debate and joked that I was going to put my views about
snacks and drinks and which combinations went with which on the internet.
The next day, I did just that, and
The Rules were born. I had my theme.
Since mid-June my soul’s gotten a boost from making these silly little weekly videos. They’re not always spectacular content-wise, but they’re always fun, and I feel like in the very smallest way, I’m entertaining people again. It’s not the same, obviously, but it’s something while I’m trying my hardest to make things happen in the real world.
So that’s the story. Every vlogger I've ever seen on YT has inspired me in one way or another, and I hope that I can do that for someone else out there in internetland at some point.
