Jesus I feel like a creep...

Go to local internet provider company, get a hat, wear it and tell them you are the official internet tester.
 
rofl... oh dude. The closest I ever did was going to a Krispy Kreme in town cause the internet sucked at my apartment. I would buy a coffee or a doughnut, but after a while, going there morning after morning, they'd let me hang around. I mean, I was nice to the customers and would always give up my seat to the actual paying customers. I miss that place. lol
 
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