Is THIS a Good Machinima?

Epic12

Epic12

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Hi all,

I made this machinima on this Doctor Who Minecraft server I go on. It's my first attempt of editing with iMovie and I'd like your thoughts. It does have some major flaws (dialogue, some continuity) but considering the fact I made it in 6 hours, I think it's okay. The bit at the end is meant to parody the 12th Doctor at the end of Deep Breath (Doctor Who).

I'd love ALL thoughts. Thanks very much! :)

 
Honestly i found it to be a little boring, there was no story line at least not one that you could easily follow. You need to give people a reason to keep watching and there is too much non action in the video to keep people watching.
 
thefedoranerd said:
Honestly i found it to be a little boring, there was no story line at least not one that you could easily follow. You need to give people a reason to keep watching and there is too much non action in the video to keep people watching.
Click to expand...

I respect your opinion, but all the people who watched it said they knew the plot.

An alien crashed to earth and it was trying to refuel its ship by stealing a beacon. The alien dies.

Thanks for the feedback.
 
I have to agree with @thefedoranerd . I could tell what the plot was, but it wasn't particularly interesting. There was a really slow build up and an unsatisfactory climax and end. I could tell you were trying to build up some tension, but some parts went too slowly and some parts went too quickly with the action passing before we even know what happened.

Also, on some parts, you were recording the video and the voice over at the same time and the keyboard clicking really took away from the immersion and professionalism.

This is nothing against you, just the quality of the story. The machinima work was quite nice and the recording was smooth and with good camera angles. I hope this helps you out and good luck with your channel.
 
Mithril said:
I have to agree with @thefedoranerd . I could tell what the plot was, but it wasn't particularly interesting. There was a really slow build up and an unsatisfactory climax and end. I could tell you were trying to build up some tension, but some parts went too slowly and some parts went too quickly with the action passing before we even know what happened.

Also, on some parts, you were recording the video and the voice over at the same time and the keyboard clicking really took away from the immersion and professionalism.

This is nothing against you, just the quality of the story. The machinima work was quite nice and the recording was smooth and with good camera angles. I hope this helps you out and good luck with your channel.
Click to expand...

Thanks. It's annoyed me now because I tried hard and it looks rubbish now.

Thanks for the feedback though...
 
Hi, Epicman!

I'll focus my feedback on the start of your video. From 0:00 to 0:48. It's bad.
But, it can be good. Your mistake is that you showed too much walking around.
From 0:00 to 0:40, it is all walking around. Except for 0:06 to 0:12 when an explosion is heard.

That is your intro shot. What is a shot? A scene, a piece of action in a movie. You are making a movie.

What is important between 0:00 to 0:40? The explosion and the man looking to the sky. That is all you need.
Cut everything else away and make that. 0:00 to 0:06. With that change, viewers will wonder.
"What happened? What was that explosion?" That is good, you have the viewer's attention.
They'll keep watching.

Next, from 0:40 to 0:48. The intro, "Visitor" and "A TEL12 Productions".
Does the text need 8 seconds of air time?
Isn't 4-5 seconds enough? Try it.

Then, re-watch your video. I think it will be better.
And, do you know what the great thing is?

It can become even better!

TheEpicmanLives12 said:
Hi all,

I made this machinima on this Doctor Who Minecraft server I go on. It's my first attempt of editing with iMovie and I'd like your thoughts. It does have some major flaws (dialogue, some continuity) but considering the fact I made it in 6 hours, I think it's okay. The bit at the end is meant to parody the 12th Doctor at the end of Deep Breath (Doctor Who).

I'd love ALL thoughts. Thanks very much! :)

Click to expand...
 
ArcticYukiko said:
Hi, Epicman!

I'll focus my feedback on the start of your video. From 0:00 to 0:48. It's bad.
But, it can be good. Your mistake is that you showed too much walking around.
From 0:00 to 0:40, it is all walking around. Except for 0:06 to 0:12 when an explosion is heard.

That is your intro shot. What is a shot? A scene, a piece of action in a movie. You are making a movie.

What is important between 0:00 to 0:40? The explosion and the man looking to the sky. That is all you need.
Cut everything else away and make that. 0:00 to 0:06. With that change, viewers will wonder.
"What happened? What was that explosion?" That is good, you have the viewer's attention.
They'll keep watching.

Next, from 0:40 to 0:48. The intro, "Visitor" and "A TEL12 Productions".
Does the text need 8 seconds of air time?
Isn't 4-5 seconds enough? Try it.

Then, re-watch your video. I think it will be better.
And, do you know what the great thing is?

It can become even better!
Click to expand...
Thanks for your honesty. As a media student, this is important to me because I can use this to make the product better.

Thanks again!
 
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