Insecurities

[Arianthi]

Hi!

As some people may already have read in my introduction thread, I really want to become a YouTuber. However besides not being able to think of a good channel name and feeling slightly discouraged because there are already so many people out there doing an amazing job at making videos of the categories I'm interested in, there are some other insecurities which are holding me back from getting started, even though I feel I have potential to do well on YouTube:

The main one being my rather rare eye condition called nystachmus which makes it impossible for my pupils to stay focussed and in place. They move around like crazy all the time and there's nothing I can do about it. I've been bullied a lot in the past because of it and I'm afraid people will make negative comments on my slightly crazy eyes if they should notice it happening in any of my videos. To make things worse, I've also got a lazy eye, but that's something I've learned to slightly correct throughout my life, so not many people notice it unless they see me watch TV or read something.
I've been thinking, once I get some videos out there, that I could maybe address the issue to my then "followers" (assuming I'd get any) by making a vlog about it and showing people my nystachmus up close. I don't want to pretend to be someone I'm not and people are sure going to notice it at some point. I figured maybe if I'm open about it, it may gain me some respect as where I got bullied because of it in primary and secondary school, I now get a lot of respect and support from people at my university when I tell them my story. Because even though my eyesight may not be perfect, my depth perception sucks and my eyes shoot from side to side like crazy, they aren't all that bad to look at. They are big and blue like the ocean haha. But yes, because of all the past bullying and the condition being so rare making me a "freak" in some people's eyes, I feel it's really the main factor that's holding me back from getting started on YouTube.

I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels insecure sometimes. Maybe it would be a good idea to speak about our insecurities here and maybe help motivate each other to get over them

 

[Symph]

Hi!

As some people may already have read in my introduction channel, I really want to become a YouTuber. However besides not being able to think of a good channel name and feeling slightly discouraged because there are already so many people out there doing an amazing job at making videos of the categories I'm interested in, there are some other insecurities which are holding me back from getting started, even though I feel I have potential to do well on YouTube:

The main one being my rather rare eye condition called nystachmus which makes it impossible for my pupils to stay focussed and in place. They move around like crazy all the time and there's nothing I can do about it. I've been bullied a lot in the past because of it and I'm afraid people will make negative comments on my slightly crazy eyes if they should notice it happening in any of my videos. To make things worse, I've also got a lazy eye, but that's something I've learned to slightly correct throughout my life, so not many people notice it unless they see me watch TV or read something.
I've been thinking, once I get some videos out there, that I could maybe address the issue to my then "followers" (assuming I'd get any) by making a vlog about it and showing people my nystachmus up close. I don't want to pretend to be someone I'm not and people are sure going to notice it at some point. I figured maybe if I'm open about it, it may gain me some respect as where I got bullied because of it in primary and secondary school, I now get a lot of respect and support from people at my university when I tell them my story. Because even though my eyesight may not be perfect, my depth perception sucks and my eyes shoot from side to side like crazy, they aren't all that bad to look at. They are big and blue like the ocean haha. But yes, because of all the past bullying and the condition being so rare making me a "freak" in some people's eyes, I feel it's really the main factor that's holding me back from getting started on YouTube.

I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels insecure sometimes. Maybe it would be a good idea to speak about our insecurities here and maybe help motivate each other to get over them

Sweety, it's like this. EVERYONE has deficiencies. EVERYONE has things that make them not function properly. And the people who'd make fun of you for something you can't help, are the people who's opinion doesn't matter. Anyone worthy of making an impact on you would notice that you seem to not be able to help what your eyes are doing, and be curious, not hateful. You are equal to the rest of us, it is your content good people will judge. Be yourself, speak your mind, be realistic when judging your art, and you will do great.

 

[MattZ]

Hi!

As some people may already have read in my introduction channel, I really want to become a YouTuber. However besides not being able to think of a good channel name and feeling slightly discouraged because there are already so many people out there doing an amazing job at making videos of the categories I'm interested in, there are some other insecurities which are holding me back from getting started, even though I feel I have potential to do well on YouTube:

The main one being my rather rare eye condition called nystachmus which makes it impossible for my pupils to stay focussed and in place. They move around like crazy all the time and there's nothing I can do about it. I've been bullied a lot in the past because of it and I'm afraid people will make negative comments on my slightly crazy eyes if they should notice it happening in any of my videos. To make things worse, I've also got a lazy eye, but that's something I've learned to slightly correct throughout my life, so not many people notice it unless they see me watch TV or read something.
I've been thinking, once I get some videos out there, that I could maybe address the issue to my then "followers" (assuming I'd get any) by making a vlog about it and showing people my nystachmus up close. I don't want to pretend to be someone I'm not and people are sure going to notice it at some point. I figured maybe if I'm open about it, it may gain me some respect as where I got bullied because of it in primary and secondary school, I now get a lot of respect and support from people at my university when I tell them my story. Because even though my eyesight may not be perfect, my depth perception sucks and my eyes shoot from side to side like crazy, they aren't all that bad to look at. They are big and blue like the ocean haha. But yes, because of all the past bullying and the condition being so rare making me a "freak" in some people's eyes, I feel it's really the main factor that's holding me back from getting started on YouTube.

I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels insecure sometimes. Maybe it would be a good idea to speak about our insecurities here and maybe help motivate each other to get over them

Hi there Arianthi!

Good thread, very inspiring to read through it. I know someone who suffers from similar problems with there eyes and I realise it must be hard, sorry to hear that you got bullied but would just like to say you are absolutely by no means a freak at all.

As for whether you should go for it on youtube, we all have our insecruties about things, and unfortunately every so often you do come up against youtube trolls, but over the time I've been on youtube I've just learned to deal with it really, the people that make comments like that on your vids don't know anything about you and are just strangers deliberately picking at things wrong with people because they are not satisfied with themselves. It can be hard sometimes but at the same time it makes me want to do better in spite of them people, so it doesn't bother me much anymore. Don't let it hold you back because as you say you have a lot of potential and should definitely give youtube a go, its definitely worth it.

Hope to see you around on youtube sometime!

 

[TheRobinDP]

Sweety, it's like this. EVERYONE has deficiencies. EVERYONE has things that make them not function properly. And the people who'd make fun of you for something you can't help, are the people who's opinion doesn't matter. Anyone worthy of making an impact on you would notice that you seem to not be able to help what your eyes are doing, and be curious, not hateful. You are equal to the rest of us, it is your content good people will judge. Be yourself, speak your mind, be realistic when judging your art, and you will do great.

Exactly!

 

[MattZ]

Sweety, it's like this. EVERYONE has deficiencies. EVERYONE has things that make them not function properly. And the people who'd make fun of you for something you can't help, are the people who's opinion doesn't matter. Anyone worthy of making an impact on you would notice that you seem to not be able to help what your eyes are doing, and be curious, not hateful. You are equal to the rest of us, it is your content good people will judge. Be yourself, speak your mind, be realistic when judging your art, and you will do great.

Great response, great point everyone has deficiencies.

 

[Arianthi]

Thank you for the responses! They are indeed very good and true I do realize nobody is perfect, and am not trying to make people feel sorry for me. I know what I'm worth, but what I don't know is how I'm going to deal with negative comments that bring my past back into the light. I know those people don't deserve my attention, but it's still kind of traumatic. Probably it's just what I need to become stronger though

 

[TwinTails]

I hope you won't let this -or anything else- hold you back from doing what you want to do! If there are those who will be heartless enough to further bully you because of your condition, I am sure that it will be a small minority and that you will get much more support from your audience to make up for it.
Just remember that the ones picking on others are the truly weak ones.
Good luck and all the best and if you get any of these inconsiderates, just send them our way and we'll deal with em.

 

[MattZ]

Thank you for the responses! They are indeed very good and true I do realize nobody is perfect, and am not trying to make people feel sorry for me. I know what I'm worth, but what I don't know is how I'm going to deal with negative comments that bring my past back into the light. I know those people don't deserve my attention, but it's still kind of traumatic. Probably it's just what I need to become stronger though

Yeah unfortunately its one of them things where you don't know how you will react until you go out there and do it

 

[ghostlyrich]

use it to your advantage it's your super power!

 

[MattZ]

I hope you won't let this -or anything else- hold you back from doing what you want to do! If there are those who will be heartless enough to further bully you because of your condition, I am sure that it will be a small minority and that you will get much more support from your audience to make up for it.
Just remember that the ones picking on others are the truly weak ones.
Good luck and all the best and if you get any of these inconsiderates, just send them our way and we'll deal with em.

This is so true, the people that speak rubbish in the comments section are always the people that would walk past you without saying anything in the street.