Sure thing dude.
DEFINITE first thing is you need to have a clear beginning and end to your videos. It seems like you recorded all in a row and then decided where to split it up later, and that's kinda jarring how a video will just end, or start off with you in mid sentence like in Kingdom Hearts #3 that begins with "...which I have done before." Wait, WHAT have you done before? Augh, I gotta go back and check the end of the last video again...
Commentary-wise, I think you just need to get more comfortable with, well, making commentary. There is a LOT of dead air here, and I realize that it's because KH is dialogue heavy with long cutscenes, but that IS also kind of an issue with doing a game like this. Once the game starts, there really are just these long stretches where it's literally just saying what's happening. A lot of "I just need to do this... okay he's there... I got this..."
When things pick up a little bit, things get more interesting and I think you've got something going there, but one final note is pull down the game volume and put yourself up more. A lot of the time you get really swallowed up volume-wise by the game, I can hear some muttering down there, but I have no idea what you're saying.
Didn't mean for that to sound harsh, but hey you're early in this and you've got a good voice so there's plenty of room for growth. The big thing is to remember that this is a performance on your part just as much as the game. You mentioned Dashie at one point and while I'd really wager that almost no one can pull off his act without sounding like a copycat, he's definitely a good YouTuber to learn from because the reason his videos work is he is a hell of a character.
That's really the main thing, finding your voice. All the big names out there are the big names because no one else does it quite like them. You watch Dashie, or Markiplier, or PewDiePie, JackSepticEye, Yamimash, the Game Grumps, it's a different experience for all of them and the key is really finding what your "Lets Player personality" is. Only way to do that is to keep on doin' it, and all the stuff I'm saying up above is just about that. Keep making videos and every time you do, try to work on getting some more of YOU into it. Then you'll be golden.