Let me start of by saying that your type of content is not for me. I don't understand what people would get from watching a Let's Play video. It feels like an utter waste of time unless the quality of the commentary and the skill of the player are insanely good. The way you do it you are 50% focused on gameplay with resulting poor gameplay and 50% focused on commentary which results in you losing track of what you are saying a lot.
That being said, let me try to give you some constructive criticism.
First off I think you need to put some serious thought into the type of videos you are making. At the moment you are doing pretty much the same thing as millions of others. In my opinion that is not the way to succeed at something. Instead of spending time feeling s**t about your lack of progress, or spending time making video 211 that is pretty much the same as the previous ones, you should spend time wondering how to improve the content you are making. Figuring out how to set yourself apart and be unique. Find a way to make something that you would actually enjoy watching again and again. In my opinion it is better to make one totally awesome video than a hundred mundane ones, especially when you are starting to build your channel. If you made a video that you can watch happily ten times in a row, then you are on the right track. So much for my general advice. Now on to some more specific things.
Whether you know it or not, when you are making a video, you are telling a story. Try to be conscious of that. There is a lot of stuff that goes into making a good story. But one of the basic rules is to be concise. Don't bother people with stuff that is not relevant to the story, don't go off on all kinds of side tracks. Also don't repeat yourself, like I just did. When you repeat yourself you give off the message: I don't think you are smart enough to grasp this the first time around. Imagine someone repeating most of what he is saying... it gets annoying pretty fast.
Try to be serious/professional about what you do. Don't bother your viewers with your personal issues. Most of your viewers are not going to care about your personal life. And if you do feel it's important to share something about your personal life, then make sure it is something profound and not something mundane.
Try to think about what your audience should take away from your video, what is the value for them. Don't make something random in the hopes people will like it. That is like throwing a bunch of sand in the air hoping it will turn into a sandcastle.
Don't be discouraged by anything I just said, everyone, and I do mean literally everyone who is any good at making videos was once in the position you are in. I was too. You just gotta learn what telling a story is about and try to find the possibilities that nobody else has seen, your possibilities, your vision. Trust yourself to do something different from the rest.
