I tried telling a story about Police Harassment - It isn't horrible right??

[JV Trammell]

Hello all,

I just tried creating a new series on my channel where I tell personal stories, and I wanted to see what people thought about the style, if the story was understandable and if it was too short or too long. Most people I see that tell stories end up having videos that are like 7 minutes long.

Also I tried to mix comedy with detailed descriptions and visuals, so it would be great to know how that balance was.

Thanks to anyone that replies!

 

[Legacy Motivation]

I feel like it could be funnier. You seem like a funny guy who hasn't found his "niche" yet. More expressive I think. If you watch this video, I noticed you only had one facial expression the entire time. Which is fine, there are some funny comedians like that, but you have to be really funny. That's the thing about comedy, you can't try to funny, you actually have to be funny. Trying to be funny is not funny. That's why I'm doing motivation and not comedy lol But keep uploading. I'm personally going to subscribe because I have a feeling you're going to get it one day (and I don't usually subscribe to people on here)

 

[JV Trammell]

I feel like it could be funnier. You seem like a funny guy who hasn't found his "niche" yet. More expressive I think. If you watch this video, I noticed you only had one facial expression the entire time. Which is fine, there are some funny comedians like that, but you have to be really funny. That's the thing about comedy, you can't try to funny, you actually have to be funny. Trying to be funny is not funny. That's why I'm doing motivation and not comedy lol But keep uploading. I'm personally going to subscribe because I have a feeling you're going to get it one day (and I don't usually subscribe to people on here)

Thanks for giving me feedback and for subscribing! That's mainly what I was wondering. If it was funny or not. I feel like my other videos are much funnier and I didn't know if I should insert more comedy or just let the natural storytelling be the entertaining part. Thanks for giving me feed back and I will definitely keep improving!

 

[CristyTango]

Did someone tell you that you needed to speak softer? It sounds like you are trying not to wake up someone in the house. You seemed more confident in other videos. The story was a good one, but you just didn't seem present :'(

 

[Ticostacos]

You seem kinda quiet ma man

 

[Kelkschiz]

Did someone tell you that you needed to speak softer? It sounds like you are trying not to wake up someone in the house. You seemed more confident in other videos. The story was a good one, but you just didn't seem present :'(

You seem kinda quiet ma man

Why not just adjust the volumes a little? Had no problem with the volume myself.


About the video, well it isn't really my kind of thing. That being said, I thought you spoke in an engaging manner that grabbed my attention. The humor didn't really connect with me but that is probably just a cultural thing (I am a European). I was impressed by the amount of information you were able to share in just 4 minutes without seeming to rush. You also have a good natural presence on camera.

 

[CristyTango]

Why not just adjust the volumes a little? Had no problem with the volume myself.


About the video, well it isn't really my kind of thing. That being said, I thought you spoke in an engaging manner that grabbed my attention. The humor didn't really connect with me but that is probably just a cultural thing (I am a European). I was impressed by the amount of information you were able to share in just 4 minutes without seeming to rush. You also have a good natural presence on camera.

I had my volume all the way up. It's not that I couldn't hear him. It's sounds like he was trying to keep it down for someone sleeping. He's a lot louder in his other videos.

 

[JV Trammell]

Why not just adjust the volumes a little? Had no problem with the volume myself.


About the video, well it isn't really my kind of thing. That being said, I thought you spoke in an engaging manner that grabbed my attention. The humor didn't really connect with me but that is probably just a cultural thing (I am a European). I was impressed by the amount of information you were able to share in just 4 minutes without seeming to rush. You also have a good natural presence on camera.

Thanks for your nice comments!

I had my volume all the way up. It's not that I couldn't hear him. It's sounds like he was trying to keep it down for someone sleeping. He's a lot louder in his other videos.

Yeah I definitely am a lot louder in my other videos. I think sometimes I get self conscious of neighbors hearing me, which is ridiculous I know. And I think I was just trying out being a bit more low-key whilst telling this story.

 

[PictureFIT]

Pretty solid man! You're a good storyteller and you should keep making content like this. The only thing I would say is the delivery. A bit whispering here and there it seems. Is being loud a restriction for you? If not, put some color into your voice and you have a GREAT chance of being big! Love the background too! Keep it up.