Not bad... But perhaps more SHOW and less TELL? Perhaps link in some gameplay video you have done, any kind of highlights you think best sums up your channel, also you waffled a bit on the subscribers talk part, I would thank them but perhaps not recover things you already said, also your constant talk about subscribers makes me think your attitude is elsewhere then in entertaining... That is just my view of your channel from the channel intro.
However, I do like the idea of a vlog for an channel intro mainly because I feel it to be a little bit more personal.