Hey. Heres things im going to be critical about
1) You video quality
2) Your dialogue
3) Commentary quality
1 - The quality isnt fantastic. It consistently has fuzzy lines, isnt available in HD and is a bit fuzzy.
2 - This isnt a live commentary, so I'm assuming you scripted it. If you didn't, do so in the future. I've played the cod series since CoD4, and attended a competitive level event (XL4 in Birmingham, UK). I, and anyone who watches your gameplay, doesnt need to be told what's "beast" or not. And please never refer to any play you make yourself as 'beast', it just screams tryhard to me (no offense). Work on being descriptive, what you were thinking, what you think was important to achieving your play's e.t.c. If you can't, don't bother and just make a montage.
3 - The video and audio were out of sync by about 2 seconds, so things happened and then they were being described, which ruined the video that bit more. You 'urmed' alot (I do it with my live commentaries, but doing it as a voiceover just kinda shows a lack of effort/concentration)
I don't like to be this critical, but I feel like you really need to change those things to improve the quality, and I would rather let you know what I think when others could think the same.