changing my channel to a more specific niche, Need review of my last video

[CrazFrank]

Can i get a simple review/tips on what to improve? I think my thumbnail game is on point...or maby not. Be blunt.
According to my annalytics people dump all over my vid in the first 12 seconds.

 

[BlakeSalami]

Stop reading to your right and rocking back and forth. I'm nowhere near your niche but I liked it.