Storytelling feedback

[UnaverageNorwegian]

Hi guys, as usual i posted a new vlog today, and im basically just wondering if you guys could check it out, and hopefully give me some feedback on my "storytelling" or that "thin red line" that should run through the whole story... Im fairly new to the vlog world, but for those of you who read my introduction post, you know that i have jumped right in it, trying my best to learn as i go. The last days I've been focusing on the story telling part, so i would love to get some honest opinions! I feel fairly pleased with today's vlog. BUT i know there are tons of stuff i need to be better at. Now i only need someone to help me point a finger on the problems
Thanks to you all

 

[UnaverageNorwegian]

Not one reply guys?

 

[MannyCastro]

I watched the first video you linked at I liked it, but I feel like you focused to much on your whole day. When you vlog instead of vlogging your entire or most of your day, try and pick a part of your day and focus telling your story on that. For example for the vlog I watched you could have just made it on you looking for stuff to buy like in American pickers. Hope I helped a little, but overall great videos man!

 

[UnaverageNorwegian]

Thanks man, good tip im gonna have that in mind it'll probably make the editing go faster as well