We're on that level again... *Boom* mind blown...
Interesting way to say you are sociopathic toward yourself! I completely understand that.
I put others first before myself and it's a big problem of mine as well... I'll keep things to myself and that's when I just get really tired and start shutting down toward people and becoming harsh. It's a challenge and an art to be the way we are.
I've gotten out of my car and swore at people before--but it's not what I want. I don't like that; too dramatic for me. I like mellowness and calm... peace and tranquility. So, I'm rather calm and happy (I think we both are); and people are drawn to that energy... All sorts of people, and being the empathetic person I think it can become a bit hectic for us. It's like, "So many people to help! I don't have time for myself"
WHAT IS YOUR INTERNET DOING. Every time you make this kind of response to me it's like you're just TEASING ME. "This is the kind of awesome conversation you COULD be having but nope! I say I'm gonna call you on skype from a starbucks but because I'm JUST LIKE YOU I'm as flakey as you are symph and I forget to do what I say I will too! Wanna be annoyed by it? NO FAIR BUDDY. You are the EXACT SAME WAY" AAAAHHHH!!!!!!
Yes yes Lili dear, this damn... "sociopathic toward myself" never thought of it that way. With myself I am a harsh overlord, picking apart my every action, deciding I ****** up here I ****** up there "Symph you're not trying hard enough "Symph there is no time to relax" "Symph you don't deserve that you asshat" But with others? They have to basically be the lowest scumbag on earth and PROVE to me they are a scumbag before they are allowed to be treated as anything other than precious and golden.
Like that Apple guy (sorry for talking about the banned you can punch me in the face or something) I just... he never did anything WRONG. So I couldn't let him GO. He was pming me for the longest time and when you answer a question? He asks another. He was getting to the point I was going insane, every time I log in... another question "How do I become well liked Symph??? Why does everyone hate me Symph??" I would tell him the simplest things "Don't bother people Apple, don't act too friendly, listen more than you speak"
He'd come back "How am I doing? Do you think people like me yet?" "Apple it has been ONE DAY. Do you really think I can tell something like that after one day??" This constant little kid tugging on my leg day in and day out, and I just kept putting up with that s**t over and over and over and over. Finally I couldn't take it I was just like OMG PLEASE TELL ME HE'S TROLLING ME. I CANT LET HIM GO IF HE'S NOT TROLLING ME BUT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD BE A TROLL SO I CAN CUT YOU OFF.
I messaged frankie since she seemed to know alot about him and was just like "Why was he banned, what's wrong with this child, is he playing me? PLEASE SAY HE'S PLAYING ME" Low and behold, he was telling me I was the only one he was messaging like this but in reality he was doing it to TONS of people. THAT WAS ENOUGH FOR ME.
So I FINALLY told him off and blocked him. Now think about how much s**t I went through for this complete stranger. Typing out long messages full of advice. Giving that advice repeatedly because it was like he had the memory of a goldfish. Dealing with the feeling of wanting to blow my brains out over his needy needy more more more attitude. Put up with it about a month.
But me? I say one thing weird and I'm like "Symph you fucktard, you dont deserve to have any friends." SOCIOPATHIC TOWARD MYSELF!! ACK!! LILI!! I NEVER THOUGHT OF IT LIKE THAT!!! HOW ARE WE SO ALIKE??? HOW??? HOW???? ITS... AAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
I have actually been doing lots of other things to help me become stronger I played the nintendo wii fit and it's very hard to become good at that it says people are unbalanced very easily I think the people that made it set it to high standards I also did archery and skiing on it all to help with making my body stronger still doing speech therapy as well 
