Hey there fellow filmmaker!
I think with your short film, your shot composition is very well done. You had some beautiful scenes to work with.
What's great about short films is that they're very open ended and there isn't really a true
definition to the words "short film". Creators are able to make what they please and express themselves.
BUT, with every story, you need a
plot. I had trouble finding one here. What was the plot? The main character, the conflict? These are all very key elements in composing a successful short film. Lead your audience on, leave them asking "why?"
I like the intermittent addition to camera audio as well as the piano track to go along with it. I think for a first attempt, this was great. You have a lot of potential in this field. I look forward to seeing what else you come up with!