Hi both
Ok, watched it end to end.
The good:
- I like the ideas, both broadly as a concept and then the smaller touches you threw in throughout.
- I'd also say that you have all of the editing skills required to pull this off in terms of raw technical skill.
- The way you transition from commentary to film is good. I particularly like the playful music during the p**s taking moments.
- The wrap up was quite good, although perhaps quite short as a percentage of the whole thing. Have you considered some kind of funny scoring system that you could consistently use between videos?
For improvement:
- Length - way too long. That must have taken you a month to produce, and looking at the frequency of videos, I'm inclined to believe it did. What is your retention rate on these videos? If there's a significant trail off a consistent point, then you know what your max length could be. Become brutal with cutting and I think you could get it down to more like half the length without losing too much value.
- I'd be wary of Copyright. I think you'll probably be ok, and what you're doing probably falls under fair use in most courts, but are you willing to take it there? I could imagine a disgruntled copyright holder being none too thrilled with your reviews. I don't think it's something to lose any sleep over, but you should definitely consider the possibility and be comfortable with the risk.
- Localisms. I appreciated the Cameron joke, but I'm a Brummie who keeps up with the news. Would an American understand that? Would all of Britain, even? I think it's important to remember that your audience is likely to be global when coming up with bits.
- The pacing could be snappier. I think this is really key for a few reasons. First of all, you don't want your audience to get bored. Second, timing is key for comedy. There's a video I watched on YouTube a while ago that I cannot for the life of me find. The guy essentially made some existing YouTube videos much funnier and snappier simply by editing bits out. It feels brutal, like harming your baby, but I think that this ties in with the length thing - aim for under 10 minutes and aim for snappier pacing.
- Scripting. This is hard and god knows I struggle here myself, but I think it's really important to sound like you're speaking ad lib. Right now, it comes across as too scripted. Loosen up a bit and try to make it sound conversational. To me, this is one of the things that stood out most. I think that once people feel as though you're talking to them personally (and not reading at them) they'll quickly fall in love with your personality and be much more hookable (I'm coining that phrase if it doesn't exist!)
Overall, I really like the idea and the execution is fair - just perhaps needs a bit of polish. I focussed more on the improvement element here, but I think that's probably more valuable to you than me saying "yeah, it's great!" when there's room for improvement.
I wish you both a lot of luck with this. I think it's got great potential and could really go places.
