I've moved your thread to the review / feedback forum.
For future reference: - Please note that the review forum is the only forum where active YTtalk members can ask for feedback on their videos and channel (including artwork) at the rate of no more than 1 request per week. We like to keep this sort of thread out of the main forums.
If the review request complies with the review forum rules (at the top of the review forum), then they get approved by a member of staff.