Dude when I see bigger YouTubers I envy them, I won't lie. Because inside, I wan tot be like them. I want to be able to post a video and it gets 2k views in 45 mins, I want the fan-base that love your channel for you. I'm a proud member of a few communities (Shady people, Nappy Nation, Samurai etc.) and I'm a part of those communities because the YouTuber that created them inspire me in one way or another. They make me want to be a better content creator, a better editor or a better person in general.
The only I will say is that yes I want to be in their position, but at the same time I would rather not be in their position xD. The stress they go through from some haters visibly puts a toll on them. Sometimes I feel bad for them for solely that reason.