Hey,
I am quite new to being a youtuber myself, but I will try to give you my feedback.
I like the way you have edited the video. Overall it is a nice and short video and the idea behind is interesting. The audio volume is a bit low for your commentary, while the music/game sounds (for example: the zombie sounds or the weapon slashing sounds) are much louder. Maybe you could try to balance these out a bit? Sometimes it is a bit difficult to hear you because of the music/game sounds.
The commentary is also good and relevant to the video. Maybe a small improvement would be to react more energetically to the events that are happening. This could also be solved by improving the commentary audio volume.
Hope this helps!