First problem. You just stand there... Talking... No great. I'll tell of the people watching. They won't go past 3 minutes. Unless those 5-6 people are your friends and REALLY...! wanted them to watch it all of it. If so, Don't t trust their judgement of the video. Cuz, they're better friends than critiques. Trust me! I've been there before!
To start of. Show some Gameplay / Footage of... Anything you talk about! That way People have something to watch while you talk. It better be something relevant to whatever you're talking about... So, that they don't feel confused... Second, Type up a script. You seem to be sarcastic and satirist and trying to be cynical reviewer. That's fine. Just be good at it. If that's the best script you can type (if you type a script at all that is). Then, take a break. Teach your self how to make better jokes and get back into it! Third is Music. Music captivates. It allures people to what kind of person you are. The death metal dude. The dubstep brat who can't stay more than 2 hours with smoking some weed and listening to Dubstep. Chilled out hip hop fan. Doens't really matter. Use music for satirical jokes. The awkward pause. The Signal lost joke. The more you know joke.
I think you understand what I'm trying to allude to here. Be more hardworking on your s**t! Don't wok on it for 30mins - 2hrs tops and call that a proper video. If you ain't spending at least 6 hours editing. Then, you really haven't mastered this craft. Plan your jokes and you timing. Imagine this, If there is a balance that says "idiot dirt bag" on one end and "Funny *******" on the other? You're leaning on the latter. Push your self to go above!