I tend to address the most egregious portions of things that people say because they are the most important bits.
Your post advised contacting and asking for permission, which is fine and a good idea sometimes. However, if it came across as reprimanding for providing advice, then it was aptly received. Providing legal advice is an extremely dangerous avenue and individuals must be absolutely sure of the veracity of their claims. Your final statement says "Fair use is an incredibly grey area and a lot of the time, it doesn't apply unless permission is given prior to upload/monetization."
The fact remains that this is a false statement. Yes, Fair Use is a grey area, but the rest of the statement about a lot of the time it doesn't apply unless permission is given is simply factually false. Fair Use is acknowledged copyright infringement. You are acknowledging by claiming Fair Use that you are infringing upon the copyright of someone else but you have an exemption in law that permits the method of use. This requires no permission.
If you got permission, you have a license of sorts and do not require Fair Use. So the idea of getting permission or claiming Fair Use are totally competing methods of using content.